This is me when I'm not doing the stuff for my regular blog. That means not necessarily as careful, not necessarily as able to do things, lots of things could be different than usual. I don't do trigger warnings, and I have genuine well thought out reasons that aren't just some kind of callous BS.
Just got my violin out for a few minutes, earlier today.
I’ve been avoiding it to give my hands time to heal from playing too much. And I knew I wouldn’t be able to play long today. Both because I’m still pretty sick and because the callus on one finger peeled off and it’s tender. But I wanted to try a little.
It for some reason felt weird to be holding it. (Maybe because the last time I used it was before one of those “time blocks” my brain imposes after major events.) But it became easy shortly after and I noodled around for a bit. Then I ended up playing a song from one of the Zelda games, completely from memory. Then I put it away.
I was surprised how good the violin sounded. I don’t know why. I just was. I’m looking forward to a time when I can get that custom bridge put in. Thanks to being able to pay gradually.
I was even more surprised how it felt. Like I’ve been feeling more like my body is me than I ever have. But playing this violin intensifies and deepens the sensation. Even now cuddling with Fey she feels more real as well. I think I’m beginning to get out of a lifelong problem that I always accepted as the norm.
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